God saved me from a porn + masturbation addiction
hi guys welcome back to my channel I am
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so happy you're here that you clicked on
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this video as you can probably tell from
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the title it is going to be very
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shocking out of character type of video
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today but I am very very excited and
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thankful to be able to share this story
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of how God has helped me overcome my
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porn and masturbation addiction so set
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it out there I'm actually so thankful to
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be able to share this because originally
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I was gonna get my wisdom teeth out and
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then I wouldn't be able to speak for a
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few days and then I was gonna you know
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fly to Germany and all of this and so I
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was really sad one of my surgery you
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know was gonna happen but then it
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actually got postponed because there was
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like short staff so this is actually a
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blessing that I can be able to talk and
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share this video with you before
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um at least some of you may have
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differing opinions on this subject so
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please feel free to share your thoughts
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in the comments below
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um but this is just what my journey has
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been essentially I came across porn for
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the first time when I was pretty young I
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never seen this type of content before
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and it was hidden so I knew it was
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something secret a few years go by and I
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was at a time when basically nobody was
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home with me I was by myself
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um my parents were out you know that
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kind of deal and so I just had a lot of
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opportunities to go online right four
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things on my own because I was so
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curious of what I'd seen like years
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prior I began to look up like images of
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you know porn and then I basically
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opened a gate right I opened the box and
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soon after
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the images became videos and you know I
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would just go through all this content I
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even like played I don't know if you
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know like naughty games you know like
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that was a thing and so I was like wow I
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was young you know I was very young but
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I was like
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engrossed in this eventually all that
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porn watching kind of led me to find out
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what masturbation was and so that was
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another box on its own right and so like
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now suddenly it wasn't just porn
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watching it was porn plus masturbation
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so it was like two acts together but
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since I was little I'd always considered
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myself a Christian
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but I think this was something that
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I willingly did to separate myself from
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God and I didn't like characterize it as
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that when I was younger and doing it but
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I realized now how much that separated
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me from being wanting to be closer to
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God because I always felt like this was
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a source of Shame for me
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um I I went to church every Sunday and
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I maybe sometimes I would hear sermons
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about porn but very little very little
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to begin with and if they were about
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porn it was more directed towards the
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boy so I'm not blaming I don't want to
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blame anybody or any organization or any
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church for this but I think it's just
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like
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I think that's just like a
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a stereotype that a lot of people right
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like assume about porn and masturbation
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is that it's a it's a primarily
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uh guy thing and maybe the statistics
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are true on that but I'm but I think
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that you know lack of awareness or or
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lack of exposure of porn and
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masturbation as it pertains to girls
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really
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prevented me from wanting to speak out
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or wanting to reach out or wanting to
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seek help fast forward to sophomore year
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of college I was asked by my small group
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leader to share my testimony and at
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first I was you know writing down my
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script like okay I'm gonna talk about
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you know my family issues blah blah blah
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like oh yeah how I grew as a Christian
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blah blah but I was missing
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a huge part of my life and that was my
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porn and masturbation addiction like I I
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purposefully right like left that out
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because I didn't want to share that part
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of myself and I'm not and I want to like
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say that you don't have to be feel
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pressured to share anything you don't
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want to share but I think at that time
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it was more of myself it was myself not
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wanting to be perceived as
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um unlikable or gross or fake Christian
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like things like that I didn't want to
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be perceived negatively by other people
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and so I like left that part out but
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it was definitely a spirit because again
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I could never do this on my own
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um who encouraged me like really pulled
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on my heartstrings like really did
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to include that part into my testimony
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and so
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like God help me and I I was able to
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share my testimony my full honest
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testimony including the you know the the
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porn masturbation things with my small
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group I think I'd always heard you know
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like God uses the bad for good or like
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God is the light and like I I never
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really understood until after I shared
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this that was a time I realized that the
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devil Satan uses these things against
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uses them to shame us or to feel like we
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can't bring it up to the light
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um it could be different right for you
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might not be porn of masturbation might
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be other things right but I think like
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he
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I realize he purposely uses these things
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to make us feel like we're trapped in it
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and that we can't be saved anymore or
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that you know we're we are damaged goods
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or that we could never really be loved
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by God because we have this sin or sins
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that we're dealing with and that they
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become addictions God can do anything
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and and it just like amazes me how God
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was able to
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transform
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like me as someone who was a huge people
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pleaser like I still struggle with that
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sometimes right like huge people pleaser
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would never want to be perceived in any
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sort of negative way and suddenly
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encouraging me and reminding me that
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like I am loved by him and that he does
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forgive and that he he is light and and
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that he can bring these sins
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out of the darkness
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put them to light
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and overcome the devil later on I think
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it was like junior year or something I
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forgot I was able to share the same
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testimony with my entire fellowship and
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I think it just felt so freeing to know
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that like the devil really has no hold
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on us with God on our side but the sword
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does not end here so after I shared my
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testimony with my fellowship I felt like
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wow like this is done like I've overcome
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the battle and I didn't watch porn or
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masturbate for like a few months but
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but but I did Relapse in a way right if
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that's the word that you can say for
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this yeah I guess so I did Relapse and I
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felt like so defeated especially I felt
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so hypocritical that I had shared this
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stuff with my fellowship but then fell
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back into the same sin once I fell back
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with the same sin it was so easy for me
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just to think okay well I already
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screwed up right like I already screwed
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up and why not just keep like I kind of
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just like I can't believe I screwed up
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even after that big like spiritual High
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it felt like for me I just kept watching
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for it and masturbating for like another
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few months just because like I felt so
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defeated now looking back I realized
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there were two main things that caused
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this to happen the first one was not
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seeking accountability or help for this
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I essentially just shared my story and
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like that was it you know just like
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you know what I mean like I it's like
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for any type of issue for any type of
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sin or any type of like
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thing that you're struggling with you
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it's so important and I realize this now
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and I should have done this before like
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they seek accountability have an
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accountability partner so essentially I
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was relying on my own strength and I
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wasn't even going back to the Bible and
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so I was really On My Own Strength not
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even God's strength and so how can you
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how could I how could I ever expected
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for me to overcome this just on my own
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like
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no no now I know like no way no way I
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wasn't even relying on the Bible I
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wasn't relying on God I wasn't praying
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to him about this I was just like I just
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felt like I did this right like I
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overcame this and the second thing I did
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wrong was putting myself in the center
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of it instead of God honestly speaking
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the reason why I stopped watching porn
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and masturbating at this time was
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because it made me feel bad it made me
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feel shameful
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um I didn't quite understand at that
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time like how much it hurts God and how
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God how God is the one that we should
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strive to be more like it was a me thing
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it was a me thing and not a God thing
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fast forward to a couple months into
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this past summer so summer of 2022
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I was alone in my like apartment right
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and so I I was working I was doing an
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internship but I had a lot of free time
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I don't know maybe it was a boredom so
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thank goodness I was bored right that
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finally led me to become curious about
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God and Christianity I did rely on God
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and that I do believe or did believe
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that Jesus died on the cross for our
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sins but I never actually read the Bible
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so this past summer was the first time I
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just like opened the Bible I think it
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was like to a random chapter
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um or book in the New Testament and I
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just started to read the Bible just like
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curiosity and my goodness gracious how
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that changed me and then I began to
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actively look up like Christian content
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on YouTube
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um questions about the Bible you know
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questions about God I was I was
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questioning things and not because I
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didn't believe but because I wanted to
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further my belief even more there were
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so many questions I had but I didn't
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like take time to to investigate further
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just because I was lazy and I didn't
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want to learn and I just kind of like
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blindly went with it and so with
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anything right you want to do your
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research and you want to learn more and
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more and more and so like by reading the
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Bible and like looking online and and
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watching you know YouTube videos of
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people debating religious topics
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religious questions I became more and
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more engrossed and like I don't know I
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just felt refreshed and I felt excited
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to learn more and so by reading the
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Bible I got
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more and more insight of like who God
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really is and why he does the things he
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does I became more more and more and
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more engrossed in him and I think
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because of that there was just one day
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when I was just like over it like I
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don't know how to describe it other than
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I was like over over this sin that I was
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dealing with still like I was I was sad
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I was sad that I was doing it because
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as I was learning more about God I
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realized he has better plans for us
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we as his children as humans we have so
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much more potential than to be sucked
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into the sin to be stuck into this
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addiction and let the devil hold this
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against us so instead of putting myself
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in the middle of it it became God as I
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was reading the Bible learning more
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about him I wanted to be closer to him I
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wanted to be more like him to be more
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like him I realized like yeah I can't
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overcome this and I want to it was a
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desire to overcome it after that
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realization that one night I was like
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wow I'm I'm actually over it and so I
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just stopped it was God's grace of
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course because I would never have been
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able to have the strength to do that
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thank you God so much for reminding me
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you know that it's not about me it's not
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about me it's about him and so I think
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that really like you know like try to
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switch in my brain and and I haven't you
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know had a desire to watch porn or
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masturbate since because I know how much
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it hurts God more of the story
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the Bible
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the Bible has like literally transformed
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me into a completely new person so I
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encourage you just if you have a Bible
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nearby or online or on an app just
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please just like start reading just for
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fun like I I cannot tell you how much
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your life will transform because of
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reading the Bible long story short it is
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life-changing and it helped me overcome
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my porn and masturbation addiction of
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course this overcoming is not because of
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me but it's because of God so I'm I need
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to make sure that I am consistently
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praying about my Temptations I'm
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consistently praying that he continues
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to support me and encourage me to read
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the Bible and so I don't fall back into
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that same sin but
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God is great God is powerful and like he
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has changed me in so many ways and I
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know he can change you too so don't feel
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that you are to this or that or you know
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unlovable or too broken or too gross to
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be loved by God that is false that that
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that that is a lie
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you are loved and you are already loved
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you're already loved by God and you can
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always
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oh I don't know how to explain it in
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words oh my goodness but you will
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already love you are his child and
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you can learn more about him and you can
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accept him as your savior and it's just
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like dang like okay I'm this video is
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going on for too long but yeah thank you
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guys so much for listening to this video
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please feel free to share your thoughts
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share oh man I'm just so happy you're
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here and you're listening and I hope
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you're doing well and you have a great
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day and that you can try reading a Bible
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and Experiencing God for yourself too
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okay all right bye see you in my next
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